It was the last time he heard the name his parents had given
him when his mother gave birth to him - Ben. Ben, his weak and foolish
former self, which he thought he had destroyed forever. Moments before,
his father stood before him, and now he was no longer there. He was no
longer there because he had murdered him.
Kylo Ren could still feel his father’s hand caressing his cheek as Han Solo's dead body fell into the abyss.
And
now it was back, his former self Ben. Suddenly he felt sorrow for what
he had done instead of relief from his inner pain. Tears welled up in
his eyes, tears of regret.
Supreme Leader Snoke had warned him not
to give in to his feelings. They had once been his grandfather's
undoing. Kylo did not want to make the same mistake. But the small part
of Ben that had survived inside him remembered the rare times together
with his father aboard the Millennium Falcon. They were full of joy and adventure.
Ever
since he had betrayed his uncle and the New Jedi Order, he had been
torn, torn between the light side and the dark side of the Force. He
had thought killing his own father was the test he had to face that
Snoke had mentioned. But the pain was still there and he still felt
torn.
